


Demisexuality in the All For The Game series

by wellthisisnice



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Asexual Awareness Week, Demisexual Neil Josten, Demisexuality, Essays, Meta, Nonfiction, aftg meta, because of course, there's a quote from The Foxhole Court describing child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 01:32:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16609319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthisisnice/pseuds/wellthisisnice
Summary: An essay exploring the representation of demisexuality (aka of Neil's sexuality) in the All For the Game series: Is it canon? Why is not canon? How does Neil's trauma story affect this representation?There's also a link to a lil' fic rec at the end.





	Demisexuality in the All For The Game series

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted in [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/162708) during Asexual Awareness Week 2018, and then reposted to [Dreamwidth](https://wellthisisnice.dreamwidth.org/1051.html) after The Great Maintenance Hiatus of 2018, which coincided with The Tumblr Purge. The section titles used to have emojis but alas, AO3 is not currently emoji-friendly.

Hello and happy Asexual Awareness Week 2018, everybody! In honor of AAW, i'm finally posting this meta about the demisexual representation in All For The Game i've been working on since, apparently, november of 2017. Enjoy!

(And yes, this  _will_  have spoilers. You have been warned.)

**So, what is this All For The Game thing?**

For anyone who doesn't know, the All For The Game series (also known as The Foxhole Court) is a trilogy of self-published books written by Nora Savakic and originally uploaded to [Smashwords](https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/noahda) between 2013 and 2014. The books are a mix of sport college drama meet mafia thriller, and deal with a lot of dark themes, including drugs, self-harm, physical and sexual child abuse, torture and, of course, murder. You can find a detailed list of content warnings for the series in [this Tumblr post](http://cabeswaterlovesthem.tumblr.com/post/142112202373/detailed-list-of-trigger-warnings-for-the-foxhole).

AFTG is also famous for being protagonized by a demisexual guy who ends up in a relationship with a gay teammate, so as many of you can imagine —and also considering that the first book is free and the other two cheap as heck— it became really popular in Tumblr. I'd say that, along with The Raven Cycle and Six of Crows, it has become part of a golden triumvirateof queer trauma YA book series, where you start with one and somehow end up reading all three of them.

Now, the series is not without its problems (the misrepresentation of psychiatric medication being a big one of them) but the way it portrays queerness, trauma, healing, boundaries and found families through Neil's relationship with Andrew and the Foxes makes it a  _very_  compelling story. Lots of emotional catharsis going on in this fandom.

Because of all this, its status as one of the few fictional depictions of demisexuality currently out there is very important. Let's explore that.

**Is demisexuality canon in AFTG?**

Well, technically, Neil Josten's demisexuality is not canon: it's [Word of God](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WordOfGod) (or, may i say, [Word of Ace](https://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2016/12/26/ace-tropes-word-of-ace/)).

Back in december of 2015, [someone asked Nora at her Tumblr](http://korakos.tumblr.com/post/135556292257/would-neil-ever-slightly-crush-on-someone-on-his) if Neil would ever get another crush in the future, to what she replied

> Honestly, I can’t see Neil getting a crush on anyone else? He might be able to distinguish aesthetically pleasing from not-so-good-to-look-at, but he’s on the ace spectrum. Demisexual? Someone around here used this term for him a long while back, but I have had too much rum to remember which one of you lovelies brought it up. It’s the perfect term for what I needed for him. Neil will never have a significant enough bond with his teammates to be attracted to them, at least in regards to crushes/sex/physical attraction etc etc etc. He might like them just fine, but they’re just people to him.

The books themselves don't mention demisexuality nor asexuality anywhere. That being said, having read them as an ace person myself, i can asure you that Neil's sexuality is  _very strongly_  ace coded within the text. Let me show you a few examples.

From The Foxhole Court (the first book), chapter 3:

> "Come on, cute face like yours has to have a girlfriend. Unless you swing my way, of course, in which case please tell me now and save me the trouble of having to figure it out."
> 
> Neil stared at him, wondering how Nicky could care about such things when the stadium was right there. They knew the code to get inside, but they were standing around like his answer was the secret password. Neil looked from Nicky to the keypad and back again.
> 
> "What's it matter?" he asked.
> 
> "I'm curious, " Nicky said.
> 
> "He means nosey," Aaron said.
> 
> "I don't swing either way," Neil said. "Let's go in."

From The Raven King (second book), chapter 14:

> They stopped at the crosswalk to say their goodbyes and Katelyn made sure to give Aaron a kiss goodnight. Neil wasn't interested in watching, but when he turned away he found Marissa in his path again.
> 
> "I can give you my number," Marissa said.
> 
> Neil didn't remember asking for it at any point that night. "What for?"

And from The King's Men (last book), chapter 12:

> "Renee said the upperclassmen are betting on your sexuality. They're split down the middle."
> 
> Matt had said they were betting on Neil, but this wasn't what Neil expected them to be putting money on. He floundered a moment, unsure how to react, but said at last, "It's a waste of time and money. They'll all lose. I've said all year I don't swing and I meant it. Kissing you doesn't make me look at any of them differently. The only one I'm interested in is you."

See what i mean? And even when the sex scenes start being a thing, it's fairly clear that Neil is not especially thinking about sex until sex is happening to him, at which point he's very enthusiastically consenting and enjoying said sex for the closeness of it all.

**Then why didn't she just make it canon?**

There's two possible explanations for that: [The Watsonian and the Doylist](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Watsonian_vs._Doylist).

The Watsonian (aka the in-universe or intradiegetic perspective) is that the plot of the AFTG series is set in [2006-2007](https://twitter.com/norasakavic/status/879124977009647617). And for those who may not know, demisexuality as a concept was only [coined in 2006](http://historicallyace.tumblr.com/post/148593215612/somewhere-in-between-a-history-of-demi-and-grey) in the then little known AVEN forum, and it wasn't even a popular term there [until 2008](https://pianycist.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/the-development-of-gray-asexuality-and-demisexuality-as-identity-terms/).

Thus, it would have been practically impossible for the characters to know about it, and for Neil to self-identify as demisexual, at least during the timeline shown in the books.

On the other hand, the Doylist explanation (aka the real-world or extradiegetic perspective) is that, according to the ask i quoted over there, Nora didn't even know the term until a reader pointed it out in Tumblr*  _after_  the books publication.

The reason Neil is demi is not because Nora was looking for representation points or trying to [acebait](https://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2017/09/25/ace-tropes-acebaiting/): It is, most likely, because Nora is a [sex-repulsed aro ace](http://korakos.tumblr.com/who) herself and this is a very personal long-term project of hers. It started as a [gay](http://korakos.tumblr.com/post/135052993172/i-have-a-question-abou-writing-tfc-in-general) [high school sport](http://korakos.tumblr.com/post/134347556877/what-inspired-you-to-develop-exy) [anime-style comic](http://korakos.tumblr.com/post/136354175002/nora-nora-wait-before-you-step-away-from-the-fox) somewhere in the early 2000s (or maybe before?) and then it grew. And grew. And grew.

So, the fact that demisexuality is not explicitly mentioned in the text is unfortunate, but understable. The only way i see it could become 100% canon is if, in a future where we get new editions of the books, it was included at the end in the author's notes. At least, that's the only thing that comes to mind for me.

**But what about trauma?**

One last point of conflict regarding the representation of demisexuality in AFTG is its relationship with trauma. Neil's childhood and teenage years were shaped by violence, including abuse targeted specifically to suppress his sexuality. 

From The Foxhole Court, chapter 6 [tw for child abuse]:

> Neil saw it in his peripheral vision but kept his gaze on Allison's face. His skin stung with the memory of his mother's heavy blows. Life in the run meant no time for friends or relationships, but that didn't stop Neil from checking out girls as he grew older. His mother's watchful eye noticed his lingering looks and increasing distraction. Afraid he'd spill their secrets over a childish crush, she beat him like she could kill his hormones with her bare hands. A few years of this violence and Neil finally got the hint: girls were too dangerous to consort with. Allison was beautiful but off-limits.

This is the reason why many consider Neil's demisexuality to be a consequence of the abuse, including Laya, the creator of the [Aro & Ace Books](http://aroaessidhe.tumblr.com/aroacebooks) list:

> The main character is acespec/demisexual by word of god 
> 
> (though due to abuse and cirumstances mostly), and in text says “I don’t swing” (even when he eventually ends up with a dude, he still says he doesn’t ‘swing’ to anyone else. And that happens half way through the third book, there’s not much relationshippy stuff.)

Thus, AFTG could be considered "bad representation" because of equating demisexuality with a trauma response, when one of the main myths the ace community has to fight against is the idea that we're all traumatized and repressing our sexualities.

Now, from my point of view, this argument doesn't consider the power structures at play. AFTG is an own voice** self-published story spread thanks to social media, with a rather small fandom composed largely by folks who are queer and/or trauma survivors themselves. Very different would it be if the story had been written by a established famous author or produced by a giant media company, where this would have been the first and only demi representation known by millions of people around the world.

Also, [as many ace survivors could tell you](http://asexualsurvivors.org/sharing/reading-list/), trauma doesn't negate asexuality. There are [plenty of reasons](https://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2015/02/09/asexual-because-reasons/) why someone may identify as part of the ace umbrella, and experiencing sexuality in a different way because of past trauma is a perfectly valid one. Having people dismiss ace trauma survivors because "they're not really ace, they just need therapy" is, as i hope you may imagine, [actively harmful for survivors in our communities](http://queenieofaces.tumblr.com/post/60930676434/challenges-faced-by-asexual-spectrum-survivors-of) and exactly the kind of shit we don't need here, not now, not ever.

This is not only true for ace identities, but for all the queer spectrum. Trauma doesn't negate queerness, because our sexualities are informed by a multitude of factors, including biology, psychology, personal history, social history, culture, religion and many more.

Remember: When in doubt, [ask the lesbians](https://www.dukeupress.edu/an-archive-of-feelings).

Is Neil's demisexuality a consequence of abuse? Maybe, maybe not. Does that mean he's not  _really_ demisexual or that we should hide his demisexuality under the rug because "it makes us look bad"? Fuck no.

**Conclusions**

The All For The Game series is one of my favorite book series ever so i won't even pretend to not be biased here. That being said, it is also the most naturally integrated despiction of demisexuality i've seen in a work of fiction (along with  _Radio Silence_  by Alice Oseman) and i'd say it's a really good example of when Word of Ace is the preferable option for ace representation. There are reasons why it would have been impossible for the series to explicitly talk about demisexuality, yet it managed to implicitly talk about it a pretty simple and direct way.

Neil's sexuality is a complex and important part of the story, but is not the sole aspect of his personality. His relationship with Andrew is fundamental, rooted strongly by their earned trust and respect, but it's not the only fundamental relationship in their life, nor is the lone main subject of the books plot. His demisexuality may be informed by trauma, but that's not something inherently wrong and honestly, that's exactly the kind of story that we need more of.

And that's why i think that the All For The Game series is a great example of demisexual representation. Hopefully, it will be one of many, many examples we'll have in the future.

Thanks for reading! As promised, [here's an accompanying fic rec of stories that focus on Neil's demisexuality](https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/162951).

See ya!

* * *

* If someone finds that post, please leave the link in the comments!

** At least, i would call it an own voice. Dunno if Nora would agree with me.


End file.
